Part of being an underearner is being hesitant of dealing with money and the finances. Many underearners have a fear of money and everything that comes with it. They conjure up elaborate pictures of everything that can go wrong with money and then wait for it to happen.
One of the amazing things in life is that when we focus on something we end up going there (see my blog “Keep Your Eyes On Where You Want To Go”). What we focus on is what our mind will see. For example if you are thinking of buying a red Ford Taurus then you will start seeing all the red Taurus’ that are out there. We automatically look for all the examples that support our thoughts, be it an opinion or desire.
Now, if we bring that back to money and how this affects us, we see all the stereotypes and stories that support our beliefs about money and people with or without money. This even happens when we have excellent examples of the opposite (see my blog “What Do Our Role Models Tell Us About Money?”).
A friend of mine had this stereotype of women with money being cold, selfish and alone. She would talk about that one minute and then the next minute she would start talking about a friend who has a lot of money, takes care of herself, goes on vacations and donates money to causes that she is passionate about. She described her as friendly and warm, and an overall wonderful person. Still, even with this great example so close to her, she believed that having money would make her a cold, rigid and basically bad person.
She was so terrified of this image that she wouldn’t even dare start focusing on where the money was coming from or where it went because it might affect how she enjoyed life in a negative way. In the mean time she spent her time agonizing over money. “Do I have enough to cover what I spent this morning, will there be …” and so on. Often she didn’t have enough in her accounts and would pay penalty fees. When that happened she would frantically try to come up with some money, which she usually accomplished. It wasn’t unusual for her to find a check in her unopened mail.
One day I asked her to tally up what she had been paying in financial fees in one month. A quick look yielded hundreds of dollars. Just the financial fees from her recklessness would have paid for the cleaning services she had constantly been talking about and complained that she couldn’t afford. What was even more interesting was that she could even afford it by just cutting her visits to the coffee shop by half. Her justification for the coffee expense was that she was so stressed and tiered all the time. What do you think was the reason for her stress and exhaustion? MONEY.
My friend was so stuck on this way of thinking that she believed that she did not have enough money and never would. And we cannot forget that, according to her, anybody with money has to be bad and that the money is what makes them bad. As should be obvious by now, her beliefs about money was holding her back big time. Not only financially, but it was also holding her in a state of fear and uncertainty. She could not allow herself to become what all her friends knew she could be, talented and successful. Instead she had made up this story that she couldn’t succeed and she worked hard on living up to it.
What would happen if she would throw out all the old beliefs about money and become fully what she is, become her authentic self? Well, our talk about the financial fees and coffee gave her an epiphany that caused her to change her beliefs and her life changed forever. With the old negative beliefs gone she filled her mind with positive beliefs and thoughts about money, and she lived up to that new story. Became her true self.
Think about how her life is now that she sees money as something that can make people wonderful and caring human beings. Still this is not easy. It is a major transformation to start seeing money in this positive light, that it can make people loving and caring. But as soon as you start the transformation the stress and worries in your life will start to vanish.
Which life would you like to live: a life of stress and worry or a Life of Abundance?
Love and peace,