In a recent article in the New York Times “A Toolkit for Women Seeking a Raise” it is pointed out that stereotypes are still working against women.  For those of you that haven’t asked for a raise because of the fear of how it might go, the article gives good advice on how to ask for a raise.  I want to stress that although the article states that it is different and more difficult for women to ask for a raise, there is no reason to not asking for one.

Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government associate professor Hannah Riley Bowles describes a different technique for negotiating that will give you what you want.  Here is some of what she and her peers suggest women use in their negotiations.

Be Proactive: No one will notice that you deserve a raise.  It is your job to ask for it.  Point out the good things you do and find the best time to approach your boss.

Be Prepared: It literally pays to do research.  Information is power.  When you have the knowledge the power is yours.  There are websites like Payscale.com and Salary.com with information about what the average pay is for you position in your geographical area.  At Glassdoor.com and Vault.com the information can be more specific as they have information for salaries at specific companies and your company might be one of them.  Also talk with people and more than just your girlfriends, remember the men.  Women are more likely to be paid less than men.

Tailor Negotiations: A new study by Ms. Riley Bowles found that if women explain why their request is appropriate and that they care about their work relationships they are more successful.  There are examples in the article on how to do this.

Anticipate: Don’t forget to anticipate objections and what your response is going to be.  If you are not successful this time around ask your boss for recommendations for what you could do to move to the next level.

When women have good information, are proactive and tailor the negotiations they do just as well as men.  So there is no reason to sit and hope for the best.  Go and create what you want in your life.  A Life of Abundance.

Love and peace,

ElinAnna

As I have mentioned in my previous blogs this is what we have been taught to admire.  The story was that the women that are good at taking care of others are worth the most.  Centuries ago this was very important for women’s survival as their value was measured according to their care giving abilities.  It was said that no man would leave a good caregiver.

The old days are gone and the story was just that a story, even though it affected women directly.  In today’s world, women have to care of themselves.  People can be grateful for the things that you do for them.  But, and this is a big but, you still have to take care of yourself.  Unfortunately, the stories haven’t changed much since the old days.  What has changed really drastically is reality.  In this new reality you have to take care of yourself and to do so you have to know what you need and want.

To be able to realize what your needs and wants are you have to ignore all of those voices that keep on telling you that you shouldn’t ask for too much.  How will it serve you to ask for less for yourself?  The people that you feel will think less of you if you do ask for more will not be there to see the results.  These kinds of people are not good for you.  Other people will be pissed at you for not taking care of yourself.  People that really care for you will always want the best for you.

Now when you ask yourself what you need and want, what will your answer be? Think about how your answer will help you start living a Life of Abundance.  This is the life you want to live.  So, what is you answer to this question?

Love and peace,

ElinAnna

It was obvious that she had stamina to keep on going when things were against her, like her mother before her.  I learned that you keep on going no matter what.  My mother showed me what persistence and perseverance can accomplish.

Another role model was my mother’s cousin.  She became an internist when women didn’t become doctors.  She was the breadwinner of her family.  When I was a child I was going to do the same.  Life took me in another direction, but I did get my masters degree and I dared to be different from what was expected of me.

My mother died some years ago at ripe age of 86 and her cousin died last year from cancer.  It is strange to not have my role models with me today, but I am thankful for the inspiration they gave me through the years and are still giving.  Helping me on my path to a Life of Abundance.

Love and peace,

ElinAnna

Part of being an underearner is being hesitant of dealing with money and the finances. Many underearners have a fear of money and everything that comes with it. They conjure up elaborate pictures of everything that can go wrong with money and then wait for it to happen.

One of the amazing things in life is that when we focus on something we end up going there (see my blog “Keep Your Eyes On Where You Want To Go”). What we focus on is what our mind will see. For example if you are thinking of buying a red Ford Taurus then you will start seeing all the red Taurus’ that are out there. We automatically look for all the examples that support our thoughts, be it an opinion or desire.

Now, if we bring that back to money and how this affects us, we see all the stereotypes and stories that support our beliefs about money and people with or without money. This even happens when we have excellent examples of the opposite (see my blog “What Do Our Role Models Tell Us About Money?”).

A friend of mine had this stereotype of women with money being cold, selfish and alone. She would talk about that one minute and then the next minute she would start talking about a friend who has a lot of money, takes care of herself, goes on vacations and donates money to causes that she is passionate about. She described her as friendly and warm, and an overall wonderful person. Still, even with this great example so close to her, she believed that having money would make her a cold, rigid and basically bad person.

She was so terrified of this image that she wouldn’t even dare start focusing on where the money was coming from or where it went because it might affect how she enjoyed life in a negative way. In the mean time she spent her time agonizing over money. “Do I have enough to cover what I spent this morning, will there be …” and so on. Often she didn’t have enough in her accounts and would pay penalty fees. When that happened she would frantically try to come up with some money, which she usually accomplished. It wasn’t unusual for her to find a check in her unopened mail.

One day I asked her to tally up what she had been paying in financial fees in one month. A quick look yielded hundreds of dollars. Just the financial fees from her recklessness would have paid for the cleaning services she had constantly been talking about and complained that she couldn’t afford. What was even more interesting was that she could even afford it by just cutting her visits to the coffee shop by half. Her justification for the coffee expense was that she was so stressed and tiered all the time. What do you think was the reason for her stress and exhaustion? MONEY.

My friend was so stuck on this way of thinking that she believed that she did not have enough money and never would. And we cannot forget that, according to her, anybody with money has to be bad and that the money is what makes them bad. As should be obvious by now, her beliefs about money was holding her back big time. Not only financially, but it was also holding her in a state of fear and uncertainty. She could not allow herself to become what all her friends knew she could be, talented and successful. Instead she had made up this story that she couldn’t succeed and she worked hard on living up to it.

What would happen if she would throw out all the old beliefs about money and become fully what she is, become her authentic self? Well, our talk about the financial fees and coffee gave her an epiphany that caused her to change her beliefs and her life changed forever. With the old negative beliefs gone she filled her mind with positive beliefs and thoughts about money, and she lived up to that new story. Became her true self.

Think about how her life is now that she sees money as something that can make people wonderful and caring human beings. Still this is not easy. It is a major transformation to start seeing money in this positive light, that it can make people loving and caring. But as soon as you start the transformation the stress and worries in your life will start to vanish.

Which life would you like to live: a life of stress and worry or a Life of Abundance?

Love and peace,

ElinAnna

So many women are taught to think of themselves as good girls, not to make a scene. “Don’t think of yourself as something more than the other girls.” The only allowed difference is in how well they maintain a home, child raring and how good listeners they are. Accomplishments shouldn’t be talked about. People will notice them if they are worth noticing, and appreciated if they ever become worthy of such a thing.

It is amazing to see this in so many women today. Even today, girls are still taught the same things, as we, our mothers and even grandmothers were taught. The problem is that this is not working for women today (probably never has). And it will definitely not work for the women of the future.

Thinking less of ourselves does not work for us and will only keep us in the same place of underearning. It is difficult to fell good about ourselves when we are in such a passive and negative mode. Today women should be expected to appreciate and talk about their own accomplishments. Women are not all the same. We are different, with different qualities, qualities that make a difference in the world. God created each of us as unique beings for a reason. Allow that reason to come through.

It does not sever you or for that matter anyone else that you put yourself down or stand on the sideline waiting for someone to notice you. Allow God’s creation to come through and shine. It is in being your unique authentic self that your Life of Abundance can become a reality.

Love and peace,

ElinAnna

Where your role models geniuses with money or self claimed idiots with money?

There is a lot of talk about role models and the effect they have on our lives, especially as we are growing up. The media glorifies certain role models and we look at how they live their lives to find clues on how we should live ours. Kids imitate the behavior of famous sport idols, musicians and others that the media puts in their headlines, but it is not only the kids who do this we, as adults, do this too.

How does the media portray women? How do they talk about what they do? If we look at Paris Hilton for example, what do they talk about? One of the main focuses is on her spending. Everybody knows that she was born into a wealthy family and the media has made sure we know this, if we didn’t know that beforehand. What they usually do not talk about is her marketing skills. Yes, she has skills that she uses. It takes a lot to get so much media exposure. And she makes sure she has. Actually, she is a very good businesswoman, although that is not what the media portrays. She is so good that she is making more money than she will ever get from here family.

She is not the only woman whose shopping habits the media think is news worthy. But do they talk about how they earn money? How they invest? Is it not interesting to learn about the smart decisions women make? For some reason the media does not report as much about women’s investments as they do on their spending. No wonder young girls think that this is what is expected of them. To spend money is feminine. What about girls that don’t like to shop and spend money? Where do they fit into the world? Is it feminine to like investing money and make it grow? Does that fit into the worldview people have?

I happen to be one of those women that like to grow money. To me it is very feminine to grow money, to take care of money. Women take care of a lot of things in life. Why shouldn’t they take care of money? Taking care of money is one of the keys to living a life of abundance.

Love and peace,

ElinAnna

The Feds cut the interest rate along with some of the central banks in Western Europe, Canada, and China.

The hope was that by doing this the market would respond favorably.  No such luck.  The market went down even further.  Fear is in the air.  If the banks are lowering the interest rates then the situation must be much worse than was thought.  Right?  So the markets went down.

Now it looks like it does not matter at all what is being done.  Everybody has decided that THE RECESSION is coming and does everything to fulfill the prophecy.

What can an underearner learn from this mess?

One thing is that if we behave like we are not worth much, then the market will put the price on our services, i.e., not much.  We are not going to be paid more than what we ask for.  By not asking for what is fair we are underpaid and everything in our lives reflect that.  We feel miserable and our performance reflects that.  Which in return validates what we are paid.  It is a vicious cycle that will not stop until we step out of it and stand up for ourselves.

Another thing that we can learn is the effect of fear.  People on Wall Street are not the only ones that are affected by fear.  We are to.  It is scary to ask for a raise even when you know you deserve one.  It is scary to negotiate what you are worth.  Women are especially afraid to negotiate.  What if the employer or customer doesn’t like it?  They might get offended.  And then there is the myth that what you are offered is what you are worth.  Negotiation was always the men’s game.  In reality we are supposed to negotiate for our pay.  What is offered is how low they think they can get away with.  It is our job, no duty, to negotiate for as high pay as possible.  Fear will only keep us down, like the Dow Jones and other indexes around the world today.

Love and peace,

ElinAnna